Rowing Through Healing

My mental state has changed throughout my life. I started counselling younger in the elementary and middle years of my schooling. Growing up, I was a worrier and almost every day, I suffered from anxiety attacks. Meeting with therapists helped me get through my worrying phase. I went once a week during a random period at school. I always lied to my friends about leaving because it felt almost wrong to need help. I’ve had around four significant anxiety attacks that usually last about a month to build up to the episode and then have the attack. I started worrying less in high school, and my anxiety was not nearly as bad. I kept busy with school and sports, so I didn’t have much time to worry. I was feeling better mentally but still felt lazy and unhappy at times. 

My first year at University was mentally the hardest. I moved away from home to sit in my room for online courses. I barely saw my friends and family and struggled to live independently. Every weekend if I could, I would drive home. My routine changed: I’d stay up super late and wake up late; I gained weight, struggled with skin problems, and lost motivation. That summer, I was so excited to be home. My habits still hadn’t changed, but I was sure happy not to be away. I started working between three different jobs and began rowing on the water. I began to feel better because I didn’t have time to worry again. I started training hard in rowing and found happiness working out and rowing. I could get up early in the mornings and felt productive. I still worry, have bad days, and lack motivation, but I have found ways to cope with it. 

Rowing has helped my journey of mental toughness. This past summer, I did not make the first cut for Nationals. I had two weeks to make the time, or I wasn’t going. I ate healthily during those two weeks, got lots of sleep, trained hard, and never doubted myself. My time trial improved by sixteen seconds, and I represented Team Saskatchewan at Nationals in Victoria. Since then, I have kept mentally strong, and my rowing has improved substantially. 

 One practice I do if I am feeling anxious is the five senses. 

1st: What do I feel?

2nd: What do I see?

3rd: What do I smell?

4th: What do I taste?

5th: What do I hear?

After answering all the questions, I take a deep breath. 

Graciously submitted by Shelby Lane

*Image: Edmonton Rowing Club (Creative Commons)